Christmas List 2011 - A Printing Press

Dear Santa, the next item on my 2011 Christmas Wish List is a printing press.  Right now, we’re doing great with blogs and Facebook pages on the Internet.  Even now, however, Congress is battling over an Internet bill, one that could very well restrict who may and may not post a blog.  The rules may even be amended to allowing censorship of what’s written in the blogs.

The Progressives are busy with their Agenda 21, making certain no one will have power to do anything or go anywhere without their express consent.  This green energy they’re promoting, on the basis of false climate change data, may affect communications as we’ve come to know it, as well as the health of senior citizens and the infirm. They even want to restrict the use of air conditioning.  Don’t laugh; there are already restrictions on our shower heads, you know.  The plumber who came to remodel my bathroom said that you can only have one kind of showerhead now.

If they can legislate showerheads and light bulbs, the simplest of things, what’s to stop them from going for bigger items, like air conditioners, copy machines, and computers?  Of course, Brother B. loves this.  He got a big promotion for greening his office building.  I’m glad he got the raise; he’s a hard-worker and deserves it.  Little do they know, though, that Big Brother doesn’t care an ice cube about saving the planet.  He’s all into saving another kind of green – money.  Money – that’s all he knows or cares about it and that’s why his company pays him the Big Bucks.  Good for him.

I, on the other hand, am more concerned about saving the country, something else Big Brother isn’t particularly worried about – at least until it comes time to pay his quarterly taxes.  The Progressives have learned their lesson from the Hitler years and the Bolshevik revolution.  They won’t burn books; they’ll recycle them to make more paper for their bureaucracy.  They won’t throw Mom and the supervisor’s father out of their houses; they’ll ruin the housing market – wait, the government has already done that – so that their properties are devalued, then offer them a great buy-out deal.  At 87, Mom can’t wait forever for the housing market to change and her will directs that the house must be sold and the proceeds split between us children.

Aw, poor suburbanities!  Let Uncle Sam and Uncle Obama help you out there and take that nasty old house off your hands for you.

In a bad economy, we’re told, there’s no change to spare for the local libraries.  Close ‘em down!  Let ‘em read e-books, instead.  At least until the EPA catches up with the electronics industry and shuts them down for wasting electricity.  Then there’ll be no books, no computers, no internet, and no way to find out what’s going on except through the government-controlled media. Think it’s far-fetched?  Have you bought your supply of fluorescent lightbulbs yet?

The only way we’ll be able to reproduce important works like Madame Chiang Kai-Shek’s China Will Rise Again, Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nation’s, or Rush Limbaugh’s See, I Told You So is to reprint them ourselves.  Not that we want to infringe on any copyright laws.  We’re talking major social decline here, back to the Stone Age stuff.  Benjamin Franklin was in the business of reproducing books.  That’s what I’d like to do, Santa, in the event of the kind of major social upheaval we believe the Progressives are plotting.  What do you think the world is coming to, when Time Magazine names The Occupy Wall Street protesters Persons of the Year?  They put the filth of the year on their cover but my boss still thinks I’m crazy.

We’ve got to stop letting them get us up against the ropes like this.  We should be delivering a counterpunch.  We’ve got to start dismantling their machine, instead.  I want to be like Victor Lazlow in Casablanca, printing out underground newspapers and circulars for the Underground Resistance during World War II.  These thugs are using the very same tactics they used and the Nazis used during the war.  Rioting, looting, burning, beating people and killing those who oppose them.

I want to be ready when they shut us down officially, Santa.  A nice little printing press would do the job.  Or at least a copy machine, until they turn off the electricity.