Christmas List 2011 - The Complete Star Wars Bobblehead Set

Dear Santa, I would like to complete my set of Star Wars Bobbleheads.  I started out with CP30 and the Scarecrow (The Straw Man) from The Wizard of Oz.  I also have Mayor McCheese.  Bobbleheads seemed to be fitting symbols for the public relations job I’ve been holding.  No matter what you think, you have to bob your head up and down, and go with the flow.

The Star Wars bobbleheads are the ideal figures for our current political plight.  We need heroes, as in Star Wars, who will not only bobble the heads up and down in agreement with Conservatism, but actually do the right thing.  Last Christmas, or maybe it was the Christmas before, I gave the nephew an Obama bobblehead, dressed in a green money suit.  He was the last of his kind and is now a collector’s item.  That bobblehead would never have come to us if it hadn’t been for you, Santa, darling.

Our current field of candidates, though I’m loth to hurt anyone’s feelings, is like a troupe of bobblehead dolls.  We have the very handsome Mitt Romney bobblehead doll who can’t understand why we’re passing him by.  He bobbles his head up and down and says all the right things.  But the children can’t forgive him for passing Romneycare in Massachusetts.  He said he had to do it because that’s what the Bay Staters wanted.  The Occupiers want the same thing, claiming to be the 99 percent.  What if he decides the Occupiers represent all Americans and decides to give them what they want?  He’s promised he won’t.  Mitt is willing to protect our borders, is opposed to same-sex marriage, and is fiscally responsible.  He bailed out the Olympic games in Salt Lake City.  Perhaps he can save America from being bailed out by our government.  However, it’s said that he’s the King of Big Government

Newt Gingrich had our support when he was the Speaker of the House.  We have him to thank for the decrease in debt, which the Media scruples not to credit former President Clinton with.  However, Newt is said to have bobbled his head to a number of special interest lobbyists (pundits say he’s the King of K Street), that he cashed in on his office, and also cashed in two of his wives.  He’s a great historian; whether history would record him as a great president is another matter.

Rick Perry is cute in his Texas cowboy outfits, but he’s bobbled his head in favor of illegal immigration, something legitimate Americans resent and fear deeply.  He also has a tendency to shoot himself in the foot with his mouth.  He has vowed to repeal Obamacare, a thorn in many Conservative’s side.  If he allows a flood of illegal immigrants over our borders, that repeal will never happen.

Michele Bachmann is the prettiest of the candidates.  Of all the candidates, she’s bobbled her head the most in the Conservative, Tea Party direction.  She’s promised to stand by her conviction to appeal Obamacare and oppose the wholesale introduction of illegal immigrants into the country.  She speaks well and with authority.  The biggest concern with Michele is whether she’s had enough experience as a legislator.  Voters generally don’t bobble their heads for Congressional representatives.  Like Sarah Palin, the prospects are good but we don’t want to see her plucked off the vine too soon before she’s matured politically.

Chris Christie.  He’s not a bobblehead.   He’s shaken his head so many times it’s a surprise his head doesn’t completely revolve.  He’s not running because he hasn’t finished his commitment to New Jersey.  That’s good for New Jersey and Gov. Christie, but bad for an America that with such an uncertain field that we’ll end up with another four years of Obama.  There’s talk of a write-in candidacy, which would only weaken the legitimate Republican candidate.  Whether we like it or not, we have a two-party system.  Of late, the Republican side has been dragged over to the Left, causing a problem for Conservatives who must battle bobbleheaded Moderates to make them understand they’re championing damaging causes, like Agenda 21.

We’re headed for the Dark Side, Santa.  Please send me Obi-Wan Kenobe, Luke Skywalker, and – yes, Darth Vader -  to join Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and C3P0 in the fight for truth and justice.  A Superman bobblehead would be super, too.  Let us nod our heads for the right reasons.