Impress Me!

So. You want to be President of the United States?  Or a Congressman or U.S. Senator?  Or a New Jersey Assemblyman or Senator?  If you’re a Republican and you want my vote, you’re going to have to do a good job of impressing me.   I want to hear you to do more than stand up for America.  I want to hear that you’ll stand up for the United States of America.

And I mean, the UNITED States of America, not the UNIONZED States of America.  Citizens of the “United” States of America are private individuals who enjoy the privilege of determining their own destiny, but will unite for the common good of promoting and protecting freedom and justice.  Union members combine together for the common cause of class envy and greed.  They’re only have one goal – redistributing the wealth, mainly to themselves.  They don’t care about their company, they really don’t care that much about either other, and they certainly don’t care about the economy and the United States of America.

The United STATES of America, not the United STATISTS of America.  The Founding Fathers left the states to their own borders for good reason – they knew the dangers of a centralized government, headed by a dogmatic, tyrannical dictator.  If people didn’t like a state’s particular laws and taxes, they could either work to have the laws changed or move.  The STATISTS would see to it that no matter where you moved within the country, the chains of bureaucracy and tyranny would still be around your neck.

The United States of AMERICA, not the United States of Mexico, Canada, China, Europe, Africa, Asia or Australia.  We have borders and immigration laws for a good reason – so that a foreign enemy cannot invade our country by stealth, pouring their nationals over our borders to vote for laws that would favor some international power rather than the United States.  Immigrants are fine.  America would be a boring place if we only had people from one culture. 

But let them apply legally and take the test.  I’m in favor of giving some illegal immigrants an opportunity to set their record straight, if they can prove they can support themselves and really want to live here.  No social security or welfare.  They would have to pay a fine, rather than jail.  Chain immigration would be off the table, and they wouldn’t be allowed to travel to any other country (except in an emergency) for a period of five years nor would relatives be allowed to visit them here.  Finally, they would have to speak English.  Perfectly.  Those are the conditions I would set for amnesty.

In addition to producing satisfactory proof that they were born here, my ideal candidate for President would have to know their United States history backwards and forwards.  I’d want to know that they know:

·   What the capital of Montana is

·    What a “Queen” or “Second” city is

·   Who founded the Virginia Colony

·    What document the Second Continental Congress authorized 

·   Who was responsible for the Bill of Rights

·    What the western-most point in the United States is

·    How much the Louisiana Purchase cost

·   What our last land purchase was, when, and what it cost

·   Where Driskill Mountain is located

·   What mountain Teddy Roosevelt was climbing when he learned he was president

·    When Utah was admitted to the union

·    What the state flower of Oklahoma

·     How many states the cardinal nests in as the “official bird”

·    Which state calls itself the “Battle Born State”

·    How many presidents were born British subjects

·    How many presidents never served in Congress

·    How many were lawyers before becoming president

·    Which presidents are portrayed on U.S. Coins

·   Which president Daniel Webster served as Secretary of State under

·   Which president was the first to be born west of the Mississippi

·    How many territories the U.S. has

·    Which president appointed the most Supreme Court judges

• Which SCJ served the longest
• Why Marbury v. Madison (1803) was so historic 
• What business was involved in the 1824 Gibbons v. Ogden case, which expanded Congress’ right to regulate commerce
• When the Dred Scott decision was handed down
• Who is involved in the first step of getting a law passed
• What the “second reading” is
• Which president vetoed the most bills
• Who the first Speaker of the House was
• How long a Senator’s term is
• Whether you need to be born in the U.S. to become a Senator
• Where the U.S. Senate convened for the first time
• Which state’s name is derived from an Indian word meaning “friends”
• How many counties North Dakota has
• What state Nashville is the capital of
• At what rank Idaho entered the union? 
• How many congressional representatives Georgia currently has
• Which King George Georgia was named in honor of 
• If you lived in the “Town of Large Canoes”, what state you’d be living in 
• Who the second signer of the Declaration of Independence was 
• What the capital of Australia is 
• Whether Belgium has a monarch 
• Who the current Prime Minister of Chad is 
• What mountain range divides Wales from England
• What colors are in the Yemeni flag 
• What Zimbabwe’s previous name was
• What branch of government Article II of the U.S. Constitution deals with
• The 27^th Amendment of the Constitution was ratified in 1992; when it was submitted
• How many delegates New York sent to the Constitutional Convention 
• In Amendment VII, what amount was set to justify bringing a common lawsuit
• Which part of Congress is given the right to raise revenue 
• Which part of Congress is given the right to impeach a president
• Which document begins with the words, “When in the Course of Human Events” 
• For whom do “we the people” “ordain and establish this Constitution” 
• What ship brought the Liberty Bell to the United States
• What year the Liberty Bell arrived in Philadelphia
• In what key the Liberty Bell rings

Go ahead, candidates.  Impress me!