Why You Should Vote

Sports fans wear their hearts on their sleeves.  And their hats, bumpers, screen savers, and even their babies.  For the true Yankees, Steelers, Giants, Devils, and Cubs fans, the devotion is 24/7.  They never miss a game and sneer at slackers who only cheer the team on at the Super Bowl.  You couldn’t pry them away from their television on game day if you wanted to.

Yet where are these people on Election Day?  They’re too busy.  They’ve got to go shopping.  They’ve got a meeting.  They’ve got to coach their kid’s soccer game.  They’ve got to mow the lawn.  They’ve got a million excuses why they can’t spend that 60 seconds in the voting booth.

I timed myself.  That’s how long it took from the moment I entered the booth until the time I pressed the “Cast Vote” button.  Of course, there’s also the formality of signing your name – about the same amount of time it takes to swipe your credit card and sign the slip at the grocery store.

Slackers will tell you they don’t bother because they don’t think it matters.  There’s nobody they like on “the team.”  It’s not their team, so they don’t really care.  The primaries?  Fuhgeddaboudit, buddy.  They only tune into the Big Game.  They’ll be there on Nov. 6^th; that’s when their vote “really” counts.

Really?  Nov. 6^th is when your vote has the least meaning because by then it’s already too late.  The die is cast.  By that time, some Moderate you “really” don’t care about or like will be preparing to change the curtains in the White House.  Or worse, Obama will be re-elected because a bunch of dithering fuddy-duddies thought going to the supermarket was more important than going to the voting booth.

The younger the voter is, the less likely it is that they’ll enter the voting.  My 23 year-old nephew is on the other side of the world, in China, of all places.  Since he can’t be bothered with voting, that’s the place for him all right.

Well listen up, you Sports Fans, because here’s the score:  only one side of this political football game “really” cares about America and freedom and by not voting, you’re forfeting the game.  Do you understand that?  “Our” side, the side of liberty and prosperity, is going to lose if you don’t get out there and do your part for the team.

No one can carry the ball for you.  If you drop the ball, the whole team is going to suffer.  Have you got that message yet.  We’re at the fourth down and they’ve already blown the whistle for the four-minute warning.  You’ve got that much time to get to the voting booth, do your job, then get down on your knees and pray that all the other losers like you woke up in time and ran for the polling place.  Now.  Today.  Not November 6^th.

We’ve heard you soundly boo professional football and baseball players who let you and their team down.  That’s nothing compared to what we’re going to call you if Obama and the Socialists win and we wind up having Coach Communist breathing down our necks every day for the rest of our lives, telling us where to live, what to eat, what to drive, and what to think.

So now you know what today is in New Jersey:  that’s right, June 5^th, Primary Day.  Do you know what tomorrow is?  Tomorrow is June 6^th.  Duhhh, what’s that, you ask, you stupid jocks?  It’s the anniversary of D-Day.  Tomorrow, 68 years ago, thousands of guys lost their lives fighting to free Europe from the grip of National Socialist Democracy, otherwise known as Nazism.

Sounds like it was a hundred years ago, does it?  Ancient history?  Is that what you think of freedom?  Is that what you think of their sacrifice?  You think that their courage was nothing compared to the spirit of those overfed, overpaid, uniformed refrigerators out on the football field every Sunday in the autumn, getting paid to bash each other’s brains in?  You’d willingly go out and get paid that much to have your brains bashed in.  You couldn’t get paid enough to storm the beaches of Normandy, the way they did.  And indeed, we don’t pay our military heroes enough to put their lives on the line for people who can’t take that 15 minutes to go to the polling place and vote.

After all, you have more important things to do.  Right.

Tell it to the Marines! Now, get off your lazy butts and get to that voting booth, you good-for-nothing sheep, and cast your votes!