The Long Count Has Begun

We have exactly one year – 365 days, 10 hours, and some odd minutes and seconds until the Hercolubus, the inbound Red Planet will turn the Mayan calendar and our world over.  According to Mayan tradition, Dec, 21, 2012, will mark the end of the Long Count calendar, a 5,200 year cycle, divided into 394-year periods known as Baktuns.

The last Long Count began in 3,114, about the time of the end of Atlantis and the Great Flood of the Bible and other cultures.  The tradition holds that there will be numerous catastrophes, including deadly epidemics, earthquakes, tidal waves and other natural calamities.  The Earth will complete turn on over (as in end over end) on its axis.  Bolton Yokte, a Mayan god associated with war and death, will descend from the sky, representing the Hercolubus inbound.

The Mayans, or what’s left of them, claim that it’s not the end of the world but the end of one cycle and the beginning of another.  Author V.M. Rabolu writes in “Hercolubus, or The Red Planet,” that “Human beings will become mentally unbalanced because they will not be able to eat or sleep.  In the face of danger, they will throw themselves over the precipice en masse; completely mad.”

If this is true, there’ll definitely be no more White Christmases.  The northern hemisphere will have the good fortune of an extra growing season, in order to better prepare for the eventual famine.  Humans will better be able to handle the confusion than the animals.

Aviation experts have already noted a slight shift in the Earth’s axis, enough that they’ve had to repaint the lines on airport runways.  New Jersey has experienced numerous flooding, but we assumed that was due to the nearer and less mysterious (though no less calculated) calamity of overdevelopment, particularly in the watershed areas of northern New Jersey.  If you cut down trees and pave everything over, the water is going to run off into the rivers at great pace; you don’t need to consult the Rosicrucians to know that.

Still, it’s a mighty big universe and it’s possible there’s some huge asteroid that comes around cyclically to knock pretty little Earth for a glancing blow, without actually impacting Earth physically.  It would have to be an awfully big planet or asteroid.  Scientists say that our planet has turned on its axis at least a couple of times, all before Man moved into the neighborhood.  So much for man-made climate change.  If Herco is due for another visit, if it has no other salutary effect, it will silence the proponents of man-made climate change forever.  There’s a prediction for you:  Newt Gingrich will not be elected president.

So, will this “revolution” be sudden and (in which case) catastrophic, or gradual, like progressivism, moving us towards catastrophe a few degrees at a time.  If the Earth tilts suddenly, will illegal Mexicans immigrants be instantly dumped over the United States border like change in a dryer, courtesy of Hercolubus and Bolon Yokte?  Or will the change come gradually, with the assistance of a corrupted U.S. Congress, waiting to welcome the tumbling illegals with a shrug of their shoulders?

“Hey, don't blame us!  Blame Bolon Yokte.  It's all his fault!”

We’ll know for certain in 365 days.