Christmas List 2011 - A Gun

Santa, darling, it’s pretty awkward asking for a gun at Christmas.  But there it is:  I would like a gun for Christmas.  “Like” and “want” don’t exactly describe my desire for this dreadful thing.  “Need” comes closer to the mark.

I don’t want the gun for Christmas so much as I want it for the New Year, and the new year after that, and new year after that.  I don’t trust our government and fear the new government they claim is only the fevered imagining of paranoid conspiracy theorists, even as they weave their webs right under noses.  Why it’s already practically verboten to want a gun.  The gun laws in this state are so strict, that a thief could rob your entire house before you even unlocked the gun box.

Do they think we’re blind and deaf, Santa, that we don’t know what it is they’re doing?  Or are they trying to reassure the sheeple in the middle who wish rather than know that the world will remain peaceful, prosperous, and happy?  The communist propaganda machine is too well-entrenched and oily.  Censorious and scolding, the Media gives the people their marching orders and they obey.

“Hate the Tea Party!”  And one of them steals the Tea Party bumper sticker from the back of my car in the Shop Rite parking lot.  If they’ll steal a bumper sticker, simply because they disapprove of it, what won’t they do in the name of their own cause?

I was fishing for money for the Salvation Army bucket at Wal-Mart.  I happened to mention to the bell-ringer how my job is going away but that at least I have my blog.  “You tell them!” he cried.  “You tell the whole world what ‘they’ have done!”  By the end of his harangue, he was pacing up and down, scowling, as his bell clanged.  Having located my meager quarter, I dropped it in the bucket and hastened away before I told him that I’m a member of the Tea Party and the only “they” I blame are those in Big Government. 

I harbor no ill-will, or not very much ill-will, towards my company.  Sometimes a bitter mood will come over me and I’ll forget myself.  But then I remember that this downsizing will result in my being able to return to school for a master’s degree, which is a very happy thought, indeed.

The communist way is a miserable way of life.  Our media cheerleads for them.  Controlling the Media is one of the ten planks of Communism.  You should hear how the news reporters, anchors, and commentators venerate this Kim Jong-il.  He starved, persecuted, and even executed his own people.  The ends justifies the means, according to them.

The communists are a brutal bunch.  They’ll stop at nothing to steal from honest working people and redistribute our freedom.  They hate freedom.  The very word burns their tongues.  They have to redefine the word in order for it to even pass their lips.

If they win the day, or the New Year, millions of illegal immigrants will flood our borders.  We’ll be voted or simply evicted right out of our homes and jobs.  I fear we’ll be no better off than the citizens of North Korea, and no one will know about but you and Jesus.

Criminals will be set free to loot, plunder, and rape.  Women in America already know they’re not safe.  No woman in her right mind goes to Willowbrook Mall at night.  At the very least, they’ll take her car and her purse.

We try to avoid danger and heed the guidance of our guardian angels.  Once we’re overwhelmed, the angels won’t be able to be everywhere the criminals are.  We have to be able to defend ourselves, especially those of us without men of our own.

The trouble with a gun is, I’ll probably shoot myself in the foot with it.  I can’t imagine shooting anyone or anything.  I don’t think I could shoot the broad side of a barn, so a rifle would be out.  I can’t imagine shooting Bambi or Thumper at this point, though that’s because I’m not starving – yet.  This is the misery which gapes before us, more of a man-made disaster than any fantastical climate change.  This is a well dug with the iron-fist of communism, encouraged by envy, and sponsored by political power and corruption.

God help me, I don’t want a gun, but I know I’m going to need one all the same in these times to come.  I just pray that I’ll never need to use it.