Super Jerk

Superman must have gotten a bad batch of Kryptonite. Or maybe Lex Luthor invented a machine to vacuum out Superman’s brains. But last week, Superman’s current handlers announced that the Man of Steel is renouncing his U.S. citizenship. The Man of Steel has decided he wants to be a “man of the world.” Man of Jello is more like it.

He wasn’t born here, although his adoptive parents brought him up American, passing him off as their adopted nephew. For years he stood for truth, justice, and the American way – freedom. If he’s renounced freedom and liberty, who needs him?

This isn’t the first time he’s let us (and Lois Lane) down, only to come to his senses and return. Sounds like he was kidnapped by enemy agents, and a Superman double agent was sent in his place to destroy the greatest country on Earth – the United States of America.

Where was Superman, anyway, on September 11, 2001? At least Spiderman tried to make it. What was Superman doing? Making a speech to the Muslims about how it’s all one big happy world? Apologizing for standing up for Israel and freedom?

The Man of Steel ought to remember the tale of The Man Without a Country. Once he left, there was no returning. No matter how he longed for his native country, he couldn’t return. No one else would have a traitor and he sailed from port to port.

America can always find another superhero. Superman will never find another America.