Fightin' Words

Having cancelled my cable when my company gave me notice that I only had a 50-50 chance of keeping my job during the upcoming transition, I resorted to consulting my tablet for highlights of the Republican debates.  I wasn’t home anyway and cancelling the cable was a wise austerity move.  I kept the Basic so I can still watch (or NOT) Dancing with the Stars and someone named Nancy Grace with the poodle hair attachment.

Please.  I brought up CNN.com, which had highlights of the debates, which was really enough.  In this corner, we had GQ Romney versus Mad Dog Perry.  Perry just didn’t know when to quit and kept stepping on Romney’s time.  CNN needs to get a louder bell.  And cages, because it sure looked like Perry wanted to literally go for Romney’s jugular.  When Romney got his chance, he explained the difficulties of being a traveling, millionaire politician who has to hire contractors to mow his lawn.  He said that when they learned there was an illegal alien amongst the crew, the IA was jettisoned, only to be replaced by another IA.  What more can you ask of a millionaire?  He can’t be there to interview every single landscaper.  That’s what he should have a steward for.

Romney defended his health care plan in Massachusetts but vowed that he would repeal Obamacare if elected.  At least that’s a step in the right direction.

In the next corner, it was Cain versus everyone on his 9-9-9 plan.  Cain lost a lot of points in this debate.  He argued that the other candidates were comparing apples and oranges, but when it came to whether state sales taxes would be eliminated in favor of a national sales tax, he didn’t do a very good job of explaining the difference himself.   From his befuddled description, it sounded like we’ll have both.

Finally, there was another duel between Romney and Perry over illegal immigration.  When all the shouting died down, Perry was busy defending his education credits to illegal immigrant children.  Still not sure which side of the border Romney is on.

Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich complained about host Anderson Cooper encouraging the candidates to the edge of a physical brawl.  At a photo shoot this morning, I listened to my co-workers talking about Nancy Grace’s hair and someone named “JR” dancing on a bar.  If this is the American public’s level of interest, then by all means, Cooper was right; let them have at each other.   Rope them into an arena, ring the fire bell, and stand back, as the rest of last night’s pack, save for Rick Santorum, did.

In the end, the winner seemed to be Mitt Romney.  The next Republican debate is next month.   If last night’s ratings warrant it, whoever sponsors the debate should put up a wrestling ring instead of podiums.