The Pomptons

Gov. Christie is doing such a great job with his press conferences during Hurricane Irene. What other  governor would tell his tanners, “Hey, it’s 4:30 p.m. You’re done. Get off the beach and go home!”

His main concern in the north is the Ramapo River. He keeps getting his Pomptons mixed up, too, which is quite understandable. There’s Pompton Lakes, which has all the lakes (Pompton Lake, Lower Twin Lake, Lake Inez, and some other lakes) and three major streams that all converge on the border between Pompton Lakes and Riverdale.

The three streams combine to form the Pompton River, which technically speaking, begins in Riverdale, and heads south through Pompton Plains (it’ flat; the Indians had a settlement there, where their high school is now located) and Wayne.

Pompton Lakes is where the waters meet; Pompton Plains is where the waters go. Although Pompton Lakes obviously floods. The Lincoln School is already under water, according to my neighbor, who has friends who live in that neighborhood.

We just got the evacuation order. Our OEM tells us that the Ramapo will crest around midnight and that it will be a record, a full foot above the 1984 level. In 1984, the water was so high that it flooded the ten-foot high railroad tracks. If they hadn’t released some of the water on Friday, that would be four feet above the record.

The governor is supposed to be flying up here to Pompton Lakes (not Pompton Plains, sir; the dam is on the border of Pompton Lakes and Wayne) to inspect the area; if he can get to it. First of all, we’re experiencing wild winds up here. Trees are coming down; the fire department is constantly on the run up and down the town and foolish people are driving around.

As for us, the question of evacuation is matter of the lesser of two evils: stay here, and possibly get flooded, or leave now, and get crushed in our cars by some tree. Until Post Brook starts spilling over the sidewall of the brook (and it’s still only halfway from that point), my neighbors and I figure we’ll just stick around and listen to the governor’s press conferences.

Maybe we’ll send him tee shirts from Pompton Lakes and Pompton Plains. XXXL.